what is it with these religious charlatans?

Last night, I chatted with an old friend through Facebook. After a few kamustahan’s, he asked me that maybe I was feeling lost and might want to find my way through a Bible study. I politely declined; he on the other hand aggressively attempted to convince me.

I told him that my religious beliefs pretty much bordered on the eclectic. I mean I’m Catholic, but I don’t dismiss other beliefs, either—in fact, I respect them. I told him that. He asked condescendingly: “Even Hinduism?” [STRIKE ONE! What's with the discreet condemnation of another religion?]

The discussion became pretty intense from there. I told him that at the core of everything, what’s truly important is one’s relationship with the Lord. He asked: “How tight is your relationship? Why won’t you want to join the Bible Study then?” (translation: If you don’t join Bible Study, you can NEVER have a tight relationship with Christ.) [STRIKE TWO! No one has the right to judge one's personal relationship with God. "PERSONAL". HELLO? Look up the meaning of that word in the dictionary, will you?]

And so I told him that no one has the right to judge one’s personal relationship with Christ. His answer? “No one has the right, but the Bible has the right. According to blah blah blah chapter blah blah blah verse blah blah…. Blah blah blah commits adultery.” (WTF!? Now where did that adultery thing come from?)

The argument went on and on and on. Actually, I was trying my best to veer the conversation away from religion for HIS SAKE, and that of my sanity’s as well, knowing that it wasn’t gonna get us anywhere. Nobody wins an argument anyway. But he was very persistent. I told him that he’d better use his energy helping someone else who needs saving, and he replies “Actually no, I have a lot of power.” (Like, HELLO!? Are you that dense?).

I told him politely that the last thing I wanted AND needed was a conversation on religion, and if he could kindly stop it. He goes on saying how sad he feels for me for being spiritually lost plus a gazzilion other more craps of panoramic judgments. “According to me, you are guilty of this and that without a shadow of doubt, and whatever you say will definitely be ignored, if not used against you”—those kinds of judgment. Get the picture? [STRIKE THREE! 'Nuff said.]

HOW SUFFOCATING! The last thing I needed was some lecture from another hardcore charlatan who’s so obsessed with his religion that he ends up becoming a living irony of the very concept of Christian ministry that he’s been trying to uphold. Why? He leaves me with another Bible passage before deleting me from his Friends List and blocking me from finding him in Facebook ever again. If that kind of action was his idea of being a Christian, then I fear for him. I bet the fires of hell are already catching up on him faster than he could say “Amen”.

I’m amazed at this guy, really. He voluntarily ended our four years of friendship because of a religion-related problem that he himself created. Imagine burning your own house so that you will have something to be angry about. How deranged is that? So guys, if a Venancio Jimenez III a.k.a. Shobs invites you to his Church, you pretty much already know what to expect. His Christian concept of love and friendship is about deleting his long-time friends from his Friends List, forever. That much, I’m sure.

the pastor-saint from hell

Last weekend, I was at a friend’s house for a simple mini birthday dinner celebration. There were only a handful of guests; one particular young guy in his mid 20′s was a very friendly and sociable spirit who engaged me in a very interesting conversation about computer games and RPG’s. Soon enough, he led the dialogue towards the more sensitive topics of religion and faith, which simultaneously exposed his true form as an extremely nice, malevolent, horrid beast. I have my respect for all forms of religions and faiths, but this walking oxymoron was a monster who had the unabashed audacity to call himself a pastor.

When he heard from my friend that I knew how to read cards, he started imposing his faith, Biblical knowledge, religious views and know-it-all-ness with nonchalant abandon. He arrogated that my intuition and even my third eye were all the works of the devil. Worse, he claimed that I did not have a personal relationship with God, that the devil was working in me. And he said all those things with a smile, as though offering some form of consolation for such an unsolicited remark in a discreet, condescending kind of way. I could’ve philosophized, theologized and debated my way through to send him running back to his mother with all his convictions shattered, but out of respect for my friend and her family (since he was their guest), I just decided to keep my mouth shut and gave him a sarcastic smile instead.

What a hopelessly demented savage Saint Beast. Imagine someone you’ve known for only ten minutes begins to question your personal relationship with the Creator, basing his judgment primarily on that 10 minute period of time that he has known you. Maybe he only didn’t understand what the word “personal” meant. But did he have to act like a mind reader, much more behave as if he knew more about me than I did? If he were by any chance claiming to “see through my soul”, then it was totally ironic because he had this devil issue about psychic stuff. He even gave the worst mention that almost made me puke: “Come to our Church, you will see the light.”

Oh, come on! Talk about hidden conversion agendas. He wanted to turn the entire birthday party into church enlistment night. Yes, he started with me and ended up trying to suck the blood out of every vulnerable soul he could find in the party.

I wasn’t even completely honest with him during the whole time we were talking to begin with; I immediately placed my guards up when I noticed where our conversation was heading to. With the mask that I wore and the prevarications that I fronted, doesn’t his deviant meddling show how he quickly comes up with false judgment? And doesn’t it reveal how all his rapport-building efforts are just mere feignings for his ultimate recruitment agenda?

At one time during his preaching moment at the birthday-party-turned-enlistment-night, he exclaimed and emphasized over and over again how Christianity is neither a lifestyle nor a religion, but a relationship with God. But then again, his know-it-all attempt to trifle and intrude in other people’s personal affairs with God was a grotesque parody of the very concept of Christian ministry that he was trying to uphold.

It’s sad that what he did still gives me the creeps until now. Sometimes, people can be too awed with something they’ve become so obsessed about that they turn into horses with fitted blinders around the eyes; they start chasing after one particular truth they consider ‘absolute’, although they fail to consider the existence of other truths that make their own concept relative and potentially flawed.

To add to that, some truths are but a matter of perspective. Other people’s thoughts and beliefs are their business and not anyone else’s. There’s a very valuable lesson that can be found in minding your own business. It shows a lot about respect.

As for the pastor-saint from hell, I hope people would see the horns at the top of his head before he could even give them the hypnotic glare.